Who Would Kill A Guy Over A Rules Dispute in Beer Pong?

Philly.com - For an argument over plastic cups, a pingpong ball and warm beer, one Montgomery County man lost his life and another may spend the rest of his in prison. Joseph B. Jimenez, 24, was charged with first-degree murder for allegedly fatally shooting his opponent, Scott Riley, 25, following a game of beer pong at a Bridgeport home Friday night. Investigators said that they don’t know what rule infractions sparked the fight during the drinking game, but Bridgeport Police Chief Zenny Martyniuk said that the men knew each other before the match and had no prior issues. Jimenez and Riley, both of Bridgeport, were playing beer pong at a small gathering at a mutual friend’s house on Second Street near Mill when witnesses saw them arguing over the game, police said. Several witnesses even told investigators that they believed that the men were play-wrestling or horsing around. According to court documents, Jimenez claimed that Riley had said, “Shoot me! Shoot me! You guys ain’t got the b—-!” Jimenez pulled a .40-caliber Taurus handgun from his waistband and shot Riley once in the neck, police said. Jimenez ran home from the scene, woke his mother and told her that his gun fell out of his pants and went off during a game of beer pong, shooting Riley, court documents said.

I never like talking about murder on the Hern because it’s bad karma to make fun of dead people. But when a guy gets shot over a rules argument in Beer Pong I feel like I need to chime in. Forget the War in Iraq. Forget the Swine Flu. Forget the economy. I can’t say I didn’t see this one coming. This was like a ticking time bomb waiting to go off and it is exactly the reason why I’ve been pushing for the Government to set up a National Beer Pong Rules Committee for the past decade. If the government really wants to help the American people they should drop everything they’re doing and institute a national set of Beer Pong rules and fantasy football rules that everybody can follow. Because as long as there are people playing by different house rules there are going to be fights, stabbings, beatings, rapes etc. Now I wouldn’t stab anybody over bullshit rules, but I may roofie a chick or take a dump and not flush. Bottom-line is that the easiest way to avoid all this confusion is just to standardize all this shit. Same goes for fantasy football scoring as well. Seriously forget the fucking economy already and let’s concentrate on the stuff that matters.

I feel like I’ve been beating this drum for the past 3 years, but nobody is listening. When is enough enough?

PS - I’m not the type of guy who likes to pile on a dead guy, but I am a firm believer that if you dare somebody to shoot you then they have no choice but to cap your ass. You just lose all your street cred if you don’t. But everybody knows you shoot somebody in the leg not the neck. The leg gets your point across just fine without needing to kill the guy. It’s a win, win for everybody.